Tuesday, March 27, 2012

"Latex Alternative" Not Latex Free

I can't believe I need to write this post, but apparently in Late Capitalist America, you can sell whatever the hell you want, call it whatever the hell you want, so long as you print a miniscule disclaimer no one can read without the aid of a microscope indicating that the product is in fact, the same material it claims to be an "alternative to." In short, the "Latex Alternative Vinyl Gloves" that advertise as a "safe alternative for persons with allergy to latex" actually contain latex, and have the handy disclaimer that "it may cause an allergic reaction in some individuals."

Now what sort of individuals do you suppose might have a reaction to latex? Gosh, I dunno...maybe individuals that are allergic to latex? Considering this has the potential to kill me, I'd really prefer that in large print on the front of the package. I'm sure the advertising department ran it past the legal department, and it is all perfectly acceptable as far as liability is concerned, but it still seems...sleazy. If it contains latex, that needs to be prominently displayed, at least as far as I am concerned as a consumer-a consumer that will never be purchasing their products again. Only the person purchasing the product (and their allergist) can decide what is a "safe alternative" but it would be helpful to have that information easily accessible at the time of purchase. A tiny disclaimer at the bottom does not seem adequate to this consumer. Furthermore, what is prominently shown is "latex alternative" and Vinyl. That implies an absence of latex, and something else in use. What's next, "Penicillin alternative" that contains penicillin?

Sure, I can (and will) return the product, and no one is forcing me to purchase it again (I won't) but consider this a heads-up to carry a magnifying glass in your pocket when you go shopping as the language has obviously undergone enough change that "alternative" has come to mean, "same damn thing, rebranded." Yes, I'm furious, because it could have been really dangerous if I opened the package-and I would have had no recourse because they ran an unreadable disclaimer explaining their Orwellian advertising.

How do you guys like living in Idiocracy?


Anonymous said...

Uh oh. Better look again at the gloves I just purchased yesterday. This is RIDICULOUS!

Goody said...

I know, right? Good luck, living with a latex allergy is no joke.