Friday, May 23, 2014
I Look Like the Person You Don't Want to Queue Behind
Don't slouch dollface, you'll never find a husband if you're round-shouldered. Your nails are a fright. We could go get manicures! Dollface, your nails are a fright. Come on dollface, we'll get you all fixed up after we go to the greengrocer, the butcher, and the bakery. Mildred's daughter took her to the new tea room by the train station last week. She said it was nice, though somewhat Spartan as you have to serve yourself from urns at the buffet table. I don't mind serving myself. Dearheart do you like cucumber? Oh, we used that tinned butter from wartime on some cucumber sandwiches and do you know what? It was as fresh as the day it was tinned! Those thieving bastards charging what they do these days for butter! It is a wonder we can afford anything but oleo.
Dollface? Give us some good-luck money, and I'll buy a lottery ticket. Someone has to win! We should have waited until tomorrow to shop, they give samples on Saturday. You can have a fine meal if you save the cracker packets and use it with the sausage samples. You don't know what rationing was like. We didn't just eat when we wanted to. Save for later, that's my motto. Why I was still using that tinned butter from the war after rationing ended and do you know what dollface? It was as fresh as the day it was tinned.
I have had all of these exchanges at one point or another with female members of my family.
Don't say I didn't warn you. Switch queues. You'll thank me.
All you need to know is this is a genuine 1970's polyester Marty Gutmacher summer suit. Yes, it is gigantic on me-I don't care. Look at this thing! Look! I put this suit on, and channeled my mother, grandmother, both great aunts, and the housekeeper in her Sunday best-in one swoop. Except Ella Mae would have added a hat, because she was going to church. This may be my favourite thrifted find, ever.