Saturday, June 21, 2014

That's Some Wood

See? I don't just give the old guys wood, I give 'em royal wood.
"Dude, lookit the royal wood she gave you. Heh, heh, you got a woody."
Let's just say my posing got an enthusiastic response from drivers along the busy road. I'm sure I'm not the first person to pose provocatively beside this sign.
 This one is self-explanatory. Get a good eyeful there Big Brother...and fuck off.

 I didn't buy this sign, but it sums up my philosophy pretty well.
Lest you think it is all glamour over here, have a look at my ride-a 1994 Ford Tempo. Five hundred bucks. Piece of total shit, but it runs and costs next to nothing to insure. The gas mileage is incredible (I fill it maybe once a month) and the air conditioning works. Mr. ETB has the Oldsmobile because he's a big man, and it is a big car. I like the Tempo-it is easy to parallel park.

Outfit Particulars:

RK Originals dress-thrifted
Pink earrings-K Mart
Shoes-Bongo, K Mart
Bangles-assorted places
Hair flowers-Tiff and Tam
1960's beaded handbag-Ruby Begonia's, Lincoln, NE

Well, I can't be responsible if my less mature readers decide to start dialing the number on the sign and asking about the state of their wood. Royally, dude.

6 comments:

Joanna said...

I don't think you've quite lived unless you've owned a Ford Tempo. LOL. My mother had one when we were growing up a grand 80s model. It was a beater back then. We also had a Ford Escort. I had a Dodge Omni that my father bought at a car auction...boy was this thing a death trap. Looking back I can't believe my dad allowed me to drive this thing. You would steer one way and the car would go the other. It also had a clogged up muffler and a very large oil leak. I totally appreciate what I drive today. You look so pretty in pink...you should wear this color more often.

Goody said...

An Omni! Good heavens, I'd forgotten about those.

We keep saying we'll buy a new car and then the Tempo just keeps chugging along. Living in the city now, it hardly pays to have a new car, and we can rent one for long road trips. I suppose it would be nice to have a trunk that didn't require being propped open with a stick, but I still can't bring myself to buy a new car.

I'm picturing you wheeling about in an Omni. If you have old photos of yourself in it you should post them.

pastcaring said...

Gorgeous in pink, even with your terrible attitude! Love that last pic. xxx

Sue said...

I have that sign hanging in my sewing/girls only room, it is perfect!! Hot legs honey and I am still laughing at your response to the being filmed big brother sign!! You tell them babe!!

Autumn said...

The sign I have hanging over my computer is the same style but it says "The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass"
A gift from my lovely mother, no less.

I drive a 2005 Focus, because the 1998 Chevy truck I was driving finally breathed it's last about a year ago. It survived my oldest son and my youngest daughter driving it for years, and two accidents. In the end, one door didn't open at all, the other one only opened from the outside, the windows were either up or down, propped up by a piece of wood, and I couldn't get it smogged (Fuck California) for love nor money. Sold it to a salvage place for $300. Figured I got my money's worth. I plan to similarly drive this one to the bitter end, but with no children driving it, I figure it will last longer.

Goody said...

@Autumn

I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone in my taste for automobiles without working windows, and things that require sticks to operate.

I was amazed when I moved to NE and found out they don't do car inspections. True, the population is small, but I was shocked that they don't even care if your brakes work, much less if your exhaust is polluting half the Midwest.