Wednesday, July 02, 2014

Overheard in Omaha


Overheard # 1-at the optometrist's office
A family right out of reality TV,  in too-tight, filthy clothing tumble into the store. Middle child (about 10) is picking up his specs.

"I can't see nothin' " he  blubbers.
"Can you elaborate on that, because "nothing" isn't helpful" asks the technician.
"I can't see nothin' " he blubbers again, like he's having his fingernails pulled off or something.
"I told you he didn't need no bifocals!" screamed the mother. "Now he can't see! I told youse he don't need 'em. Make his glasses that work!"

The poor technician tried explaining that you have to look through the bottom part to read, but it wasn't getting through. We finished up and left, and as we were getting settled into the car, scary family stomps out of the office and loads into their...wait for it...Prius. I shit you not.  See, if it had been true reality TV it would have been a pickup truck.

Overheard # 2

A woman with four children very close in age is shopping in the thrift store, and trying to talk on the phone as the children clamber over things, break things (two crashes that I heard), scream, and tear through the store. Woman is following after screaming at them to stop, whilst attempting to talk on the phone. Eventually she starts shouting into the phone,

"But that's not the psychiatrist I see! I need to see Dr. Jones."

Honey, you don't need a psychiatrist, you need a babysitter. Jesus Christ on a bundle of burning sticks lady, you need a babysitter. The sooner, the better. I think one of my previous, "overheard" posts also involved a visit to a psychiatrist's office, so maybe it is a theme (or Nebraska is a good place to be a shrink).

It was worth venturing out though-I picked up a beautiful 50's porcelain lamp for my bed table for eight bucks. As an unexpected bonus, the shade is in good condition.

Maw, I can't see nothin' no more!


Bibi said...

O Lawd.
I was a pharmacist for 20 yrs in the SF Bay area.
I can't tell how many stoopid Prius drivers came into the pharmacy with their optometrist's prescription for glasses wanting me to 'fill' it. Calmly I would have to explain that we don't dispense or grind lenses at the pharmacy.
Usually this resulted in a slack jawed blank stare & a reply of "But it is a prescription, don't you fill prescriptions here?"
"Yes, we fill prescriptions here but not for EYEGLASSES, you need to take this prescription to Lenscrafters or some other place that dispenses EYEGLASSES."
Typically I would have to repeat this suggestion about 3-4 times before the stoopids 'got it.'
Sometimes I'd even get the reply - "But how do you know the prescription is for eyeglasses?"
I really do not miss working with the public in the US at all - at least in a 3rd world country you can blame lack of education or awareness or some VALID excuse.
Love the jacket, love the accessories, being 5'9" & DDD I have given up all hope of buying anything 'off the rack' thrift or otherwise - so I can attest to your frustration. ;)
Carry on!

Goody said...


I would think working with the public in SF of all places would yield tons of interesting stories-you should start a blog!

Then again, the trauma of re-living it might be too much to bear.

vilstef said...

The goobers aren't any smarter in Iowa.

Gene from Des Moines

Goody said...


Perhaps it is the change of scenery, but I always think better of Iowa when I'm driving away from Nebraska ;)