Tuesday, January 26, 2016

We're Having the Asshole Bruce Tonight

My earliest memory of mis-hearing something came from the announcement that we'd be having the, "Asshole Bruce" tonight. I wondered why anyone would refer to a guest that way, much less invite them over. It was only upon seeing the milky stuff that I understood it was a drink rather than a person. It was quite some time after that I found out it was atholl brose, not asshole Bruce. I was reminded of that incident last evening as we prepared for our Burns Night celebration. I didn't make atholl brose (or cranachan) but I made some very nice oatcakes that went well with the cheese course.

I wish I could say that was my most embarrassing mis-heard phrase, but I wouldn't be doing this post if it were. For years, I heard a line from the Scorpions song, Like a Hurricane as, " So what is wrong with Anais Nin?" It was kind of disappointing to find out it was really, "What's so wrong with another sin?" I was less impressed with the Scorpions after that, if I'm honest.

Now that I'm old, it is worse than ever. Danny said something to me that I heard as, "I'm a baked potato." In the supermarket, I heard an announcement about a, "Sex sale" in the frozen department. Turned out it was a "sack sale" which wasn't nearly as exciting. Sometimes it takes my brain a second or two to sort out that I heard wrong, but I'm sure there must be dozens of things I never understood I'd heard wrong. Please, tell me everyone does this. Please. 

 In my mad dash through the racks at the costume shop I managed to buy three red dresses (and a robe). I know what works for me, even if it isn't my favourite colour. This dress is by Hopewell, which was a specialty brand of Jonathan Logan-for fatties. That's why it fits me. Anyhoo, it is nice to have something that isn't pulling across the bust as so many 60's and 70's clothes would seem to have been made for flat chested hippies (not that I'm judging, I just can't wear the Dollyrockers dresses and that sort of thing). Jonathan Logan made nice clothes. They weren't expensive, but they weren't dirt cheap either. I'm pleased I could add this one to my collection for a couple bucks.

Nice comfort shoes. They are. Thank goodness for Clarks.

Look at the massive old bag! Er, shoulderbag. It was reduced from $25.00 to $15.00 at New Life Thrift's boutique, so I snagged it. I go weak-kneed at the sight of a hand tooled belt or purse, and this one, given the size and good condition nearly made me faint. I don't think it is that old (70's maybe?) though I've heard young people calling 90's clothes, "Vintage" which seems like a bit of a stretch, so perhaps to some people this would be ancient. It has an adjustable strap, which is great because I can't do shoulderbags since my neck injury, and I prefer to clutch my bag tightly between gloved hands ready to swing it at young people that get too close to me. "Shoo. Go away! Damn beatniks with their funny cigarettes and long-playing records..."
 This brooch is (I'm told) a clear type of Bakelite, with a flower encased inside. It was a gift from an elderly neighbour who was amused by my interest in, "Old shmattes."  She bought it on a holiday to Mexico in the 40's, and thought I'd like to have it. She was the same woman that gave me the needlepoint purse you see me wearing. She didn't have children, and her cousin's children weren't interested in, "Old things" so looking back, I think she just wanted to be sure someone would take care of the clothes and accessories she held onto for so many years. I wore her wedding hat for my wedding as well. I'm waiting for some young neighbour to show an interest in vintage so I can hand off all my 80's oversized jackets and jumpers to a good home. Someday, someone will want them.
 Outfit Particulars:
Hopewell for Jonathan Logan dress-Fairy Tail Costumes, Omaha
Faux leopard jacket-Goodwill
Vintage earrings-HAnd-Me-Ups
Bangles-Hand-Me-Ups and Goodwill
40's brooch-Gift
Hand Tooled Made in Mexico bag-New Life Thrift
Fragrance- Vintage forumaltion Lucien Lelong, Balalaika (It was a decant from a 1945 bottle. The top notes are gone, so no mandarin to my nose, but the rest of it is still lovely).

If you see that asshole Bruce, tell him the skirlie is gettin' cold, and we won't be waiting for him all night. 


Connie said...

For fatties. Seriously??? You have a perfect figure. Perfect. I do think that people used to be much smaller. I'm not very big and a lot of vintage stuff is teeny tight on me. What's going on? Vitamins? Hormones? Yikes! Anyway, you look very pretty. I have so many misheard things it's crazy. I always thought they were singing "going to the can. Today's the date" in the song Mrs. Robinson until someone corrected me. It's "going to the candidate's debate."

Bibi Maizoon said...

That's why I wore the 'sweater girl' look when I lived in the US- the dreaded pulling across the bust. I shopped the fattie section all the time for sweaters.(OK, I was a 300lb fattie myself for about 7 yrs, the gastric bypass worked a treat!) I did notice that clothing made for larger ladies was cut rather boxy & petite - like all women of size are 5'4" with a 29" inseam? I think not!
Love that dahlia 40's brooch! I like red on you, such a fab color on brunettes.
90's is vintage? I still laugh when I hear 80's is vintage.
Given the regional accents & multitudinous languages around these parts, I mishear things all the time. A Tamu taxi driver was asking me something about "Baah MAAH li" "Beddy fay nuss maddam, from Jay maah kaah" "Smo-kee da gaanjah, you know?" May ree waan jah?" "You like?" I finally figured out he was talking about Bob Marley. The 'b' sound is interchangeable with the 'v' sound & r's are often pronounced as "L" or deleted entirely if not at the beginning of syllable in Hindi & it's dialects.


Mim said...

That red looks gorgeous on you, and the fit is great. As a fattie, maybe I should look out for Hopewell!

I bet your neighbour was glad to find a good home for her treasures. I do sometimes wonder where mine will end up.

If Bruce leaves you waiting, he really is an asshole...

Beth Waltz said...

The leopard print with the red is a winning combination, and the fit is perfection -- but dare one suggest that you try tan shoes and tights instead of the gray? I'm looking from the bag to the shoes, from the shoes to the bag, not that I'd condone matchy-matchy, y'understand.

Jonathan Logan was a happy discovery on department store "better dresses" racks, back in the day when I shopped downtown for career clothes. I still find even the non-chubbette line a better fit for us well-rounded (and yes, at 5'4" I do have a 29" inseam) females than anything by Liz Claiborne. Much nicer fabrics, too, of course!

Your bangle collection is worthy of display as objets d'art. I'm eyeing that lacquer item with gleaming green eyes. How do you keep the collection corralled?

Yes, I've been mishearing phrases for years. As a child I could never figure out what a pilot named Pontius was doing in the bible stories.

Goody said...

"But most of all you have to hide it from the kids..."

"Smokee de ghanja..." I would have died laughing. Died!

I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to wear a dress where the bust darts are in the correct place.

Yep, you're right, the grey isn't working.


Vronni's Style Meanderings said...

Goody, you do make me laugh!

Yes, I do mishear things but can't think of anything specific at the moment.

I love your red dress, it looks lovely on you and the brooch is gorgeous. I am lusting after your leopard print jacket; I really want one but am prepared to wait until I find the perfect one in a charity shop somewhere. I know I will I find it. Marvellous bangles and the bag is lovely, too. Just right for beating off beatniks!

I hope you had a fab Burns Night and as for those beatniks they get everywhere, don't they?

I'll check out fragrance net - thank you.


ThriftyParka said...

I know *exactly* what you mean when re: passing down your previous, precious, carefully acquired vintage clothing and accessories.

I have a massive vintage purse collection, multi-bead collection, parure collection. Not to mention my collection of vintage and newer Adidas jackets that I take care of lovingly. Gosh, then there is my small collection of vintage men's neckties....and let's not forget my prized 1940's men's overcoat.

I'm *hoping* that one of my Lululemon, American Eagle wearing daughters will become interested in vintage. I would love them to experience the same zingy, thrill I get when I swap out my boring, everyday purse for a FAB vintage weekend purse!!!

Here's hoping.

happy thrifting :)

Goody said...

You'll find one eventually-sooner or later everything ends up in the charity shops.

@Thrifty Parka

You have such a great purse collection it is hard to imagine any of them being boring-even the everyday one.