Josephine Jam

More years ago than I care to remember, I attended high school in what was then a somewhat small suburb of Chicago. In fact, it was so long ago that smoking was actually permitted on school grounds and no one was expelled for being in possession of Tylenol, or dental floss or any of the other zero-tolerance contraband of today. No, back in the stone age before Deerfield, Illinois had roads (n-stuff) about the only thing that would get you in trouble would be if the school security guard caught you red handed with dope. Even then, unless there was a substantial quantity, odds were the police would not be called.

Our school security guard was a fifty-something woman that weighed a good couple hundred pounds and worse dark tinted glasses so thick it was a wonder she could navigate her way down the halls without slamming herself into rows of lockers. She had a bouffant hairdo and a uniform that consisted of pull-on polyester pants, a white blouse and a matching dark blue long-shirtwaist with pockets. Her name was Josephine and everyone knew she wouldn't be chasing after anyone unless she really had to. It was a long walk from the smoking area at the rear of the school to the office, so simply reeking in dope would have been a waste of her energy. It also just wasn't that big of a deal at that time. Today? Oh god, you'd probably have a felony conviction the way things are going and have the rest of your life ruined-but back then, the biggest fear most tea-head teenagers had was their parents being called in to school. No one feared the school security guard.

Still, teenagers being teenagers, we'd devised ways to alert others to Josephine approaching: We'd yell, "Blueberry!"

I'm sure she knew it. Come on, how could she not know it? This alert system would be employed whether anything illegal was actually taking place-as a sort of general heads-up. Through the course of a typical day, it would not have been uncommon to hear "Blueberry" shouted numerous times.

I'm positive she knew it. The thing is, Josephine was a really nice woman. She wasn't on some power-trip, and it wasn't her idea of sport to see how many kids she could get in trouble. She punched the clock and tried not to make anyone's life too miserable. I suppose had there ever been a real emergency she wouldn't have been able to do much as she wasn't armed. Josephine was there to be some sort of authority figure, but we didn't really fear her-we also didn't hate her. I actually respected her for being a decent human being. I wonder how many "resource officers" in schools today get that sort of a warm feeling from the students? You know, the old thing about being respected by treating people with respect. What do you know, it's true. She didn't turn high school into a game of "gotcha" for some trivial infraction, and didn't bother with senseless punitive punishments for failing to "respect her authori-tay" That's probably why I'm still calling blueberries "Josephine Berries" all these years later. And I didn't grow up to be a dope fiend, or hold up liquor stores at gunpoint, or turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight. Amazing, I know. I grew up to be a middle aged woman putting-up preserves in a farmhouse.

It is with great admiration for a woman who did a job you couldn't possibly pay me enough to do that I offer this recipe for Josephine Freezer Jam:
(Recipe from Sure-Jell fruit Pectin)

You Will Need:

7 1/2 pint jars, lids and bands suitable for freezing
2 1/2 pints blueberries (3 cups crushed)
5 1/4 cups sugar
1 box pectin
3/4 cup water

Wash jars, lids and bands in soapy hot water. Dry.

Crush blueberries in a large bowl. Cover with sugar and stir well. Let stand ten minutes, stirring occasionally. In a saucepan, heat the water and pectin over high heat until it comes to a boil. Cook 1 minute longer. Stir pectin into fruit and sugar. Keep stirring for three minutes. Ladle into jars (a wide-mouthed funnel is a great help). Wipe tops clean and seal. Let stand undisturbed at room temperature for 24 hours. Then refrigerate and use within three weeks, or freeze for longer storage.