What Do You Call Cats That Have Been Put In a Bong, and Run Through The Spin Cycle?

Lincolnites.

Lincoln, Nebraska-Cat City USA. Wait, I forgot " used for target practise". Then there's that whole trying to run them over with your lawn tractor thing that seems to be a popular pastime in these parts.

Don't worry, the stoned kitty turned out just fine though at first he was a bit catatonic. OK, I'm sorry, that was in poor taste. But hey, look on the bright side, at least no one has rung up the police (yet) to report a cat that has been playing with a string for two hours.

I haven't looked yet, but you just know this is going to make FARK.com