Not Health Food (Technically, I'm Not Sure It Even Qualifies As Food)

I enjoy brown rice cereal. I'm not coeliac, on a diet, or otherwise trying to increase the fibre in my diet-I just like it. With the weather being ungodly hot, I thought, "What the hell, let's make rice krispy treats with brown rice cereal!" I was really enthusiastic, so I added the exclamation point for emphasis. I didn't grow up with rice krispy treats , so I always feel like I'm being initiated into some sort of cult Americana when I make them.

Look, I know we've been solidly residing in Idiocracy for a while now, but using brown rice cereal in no way transforms a stick of butter, and a bag of marshmallows into a healthy sweet. I understand the desire, the longing, the impulse to try your damnedest to make it so-but rice krispy treats, brown rice or not, still contain a stick of butter, and a bag of marshmallows. I'm sorry, but you needed to hear that, and it might as well come from me.

I won't send you to the website-I love you guys too much for that, particularly the recipe where you can fashion them into balls, decorate them with licquorice, and hang them on a Christmas tree. Christmas trees don't need extra fibre-they're all fibre.

Are we clear now? Rice Krispy treats are delicious, you can even toss some mini-chocolate chips on top if you're feeling adventurous, but kids, please understand, they're sugar delivery systems. If you find yourself particularly poopy after consuming a few, I'm pretty sure it isn't because of all the fibre contained in the highly-processed brown rice cereal.