If You Believe That, I've Got Some Crystals to Sell You For $59.99

I'm afraid it isn't working. I stood in the store for an entire 30 seconds grasping this crystal, and I still felt like punching someone in the face. 

 I hate it when the new age crystals are defective. Fucking discount stores. I'll bet these were overstock from the last millennium. Listen buddy, why don't you take your harmonic convergence and...oh look, it is conveniently shaped like a suppository!

Age of Aquarius, my ass. No, make that your ass.

I woke up in a bad mood, and it only got worse as my computer decided it was downloading a new version of Windows whether I wanted it, or not. Then, the browser wouldn't work with anything. I've spent several hours attempting to fix this. As I dressed to go out, I could not for my life decide on a pair of shoes and I very nearly wore two different ones, and would have, had they both been flats. I wonder if anyone would have noticed? Most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice others.

Or, they're all too busy panicking over a disease that's a whole hell of a lot less likely to get them than the flu. Was anyone waiting for their flu jab? No. They are all at home hiding beneath the bed and pissing their pants with worry over ebola. In the past week it has been wall-to-wall news coverage, and panic. The children of healthcare workers are being shunned and kicked off the soccer team, as well as being un-invited to birthday parties because the news has people so whipped into hysteria they forgot to stop and use their brains. Some poor family of missionaries in Iowa is essentially being forced into a 21 day isolation by crazy locals that don't want their kids returning to school. Never mind that they were on the other side of the continent from where the outbreak is. Who needs geography when you have 24 hours news? I remember the early days of AIDS, and this behaviour is looking all too familiar. I'm not worried about Ebola, but I'm scared to death of people's reactions to the threat of it. 

Here's Danny's impression of my frustrated face, which sadly I've been wearing too much of late. He does do an eerily accurate impersonation of me. That's my boy!

I almost bought this. I'll have to watch for it to go on sale because I like it, but not $25.00 worth of like. 

We're  not quite to Halloween but this is the American Midwest so...

YEAH!!!!

I've always been more of a shovel woman than a snowblower, but I have to admit they did one hell of a great display with the fibrefill snow. 

I've lived through some epic blizzards, but only tried using a snowblower once. The thing was so heavy and hard to push it ended up easier to shovel. Perhaps they've improved them since the old days, but this thing was quite the massive piece of equipment. There was a couple off to the side not pictured that were watching this performance, and sincerely trying their best not to laugh. I don't know why...did they think I'd be insulted? If you go out in public dressed like this you expect a few giggles. 

Wheeeee!

Yes, fun and games when the stuff is made of fibrefill. The real stuff is a lot less enjoyable. 

Outfit Particulars:

*Note-I didn't set out to do an homage to the lovely Helga Von Trollop , but by the time I had the squaredancing dress and the tights on, there was no going back. http://helgavontrollop.blogspot.com/

That said, no one does Helga like Helga, as evidenced by my complete absence of  kick-ass style. And ric-rac. Who the hell makes a squaredancing dress without ric-rac? There oughtta be a law! Anyway, I raise my brightly tight clad leg in salute to you dear! 

Uggggggghhhhhh. 

I think I got a groin pull!

My GROIN! My GROIN!

Dress-Thrift World

Tights-Walgreens

Cardigan-Goodwill

Hat-Thrift World

Gold Shoes-Goodwill

1960's pink shoes-Goodwill

Bangles-Assorted places

Earrings-Sarpy County Yard Sale

Marvella Necklace-Thrift World (I think?)

Gold 60's handbag-Goodwill

Blue belt-came with a dress

White Gloves-Goodwill

Green floral pin-Tiff and Tam

Brooch-Sarpy County Sale

Butterfly brooch (on flower)-Goodwill

Fragrance-White Shoulders

There will be no larking about, children.

Chunky bangles for chunky arms.

Give us a kiss...

 No? Then fuck off.

I promise to try and snap out of this mood...but it is going to be hard as it took two fucking hours to do this post as I had to keep quitting the post, signing out, signing back in, etc. just to get the browser to work. Then, I downloaded Chrome, which is worse. I don't know about you, but I could find better things to do with two hours of my life. 

Like drink gin and tonic.