We've been together for a long time now. I keep trying to break up with you, but here we are, still suffering together. You're loud, unflattering, you make me uncomfortable, but when I try to leave you in a bag at the Goodwill, somehow you escape at the last moment. We both know this isn't working, why must we suffer in this ill-fitting, dysfunctional relationship where we just hate ourselves after each date? We only see each other once, perhaps twice a year-why must we put ourselves through this? I know you'd be happy with a much older woman, and I've been eyeing a psychedelic maxi at the thrift store.
Sigh, I don't think we can go on like this. I'm ready to try (retail) therapy. Something must change-perhaps we could shorten your sleeves, or try something new like a bit of rick rack at your hem? I mean, if you're willing to work with me...perhaps?
Oh dress, you're so nicely sewn-I swear it isn't you. I swear it! I'm just...you know...short.
My mother told me it would never work with you, and I really should have listened! Think of all the crying in the mirror it would have saved. There's only so much cryng in the mirror a person can do. You understand, I'm sure.
Please don't give me that look. I know it isn't deliberate, I'm not blaming you.
Fine. I'm willing to give you one last chance, but I think we both know this is going to end in a bin bag at the Goodwill.
Outfit Particulars:
Polyester crepe dress-Can't remember, old
Vintage ostrich skin handbag-Goodwill
Vintage milk glass clip earrings-Hand-Me-Ups
Hair bow-made by my mother-80's
Necklace-Hand-Me-Ups
Lippy-Wine with Everything (Revlon)
Like the song says, "Breaking up is hard to do."
P.S.
I really think it is the sleeves.
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ReplyDeleteIt doesn't look that bad. The disgusted debutante dress was worse. So it's a tad campy & church lady-ish, that's never stopped you before. Maybe it is time to move on to the psychedelic maxi?
ReplyDeleteDunno, Goody, that dress hits your figger in all the right places and the print is not at all the sort of floral one calls "little old lady". Must admit I've had lousy luck fiddling with polyester crepe -- it unravels like cheesecloth -- so I can't recommend altering the sleeves just for the sake of appearances.
ReplyDeleteSo -- what have you got in the wardrobe that resembles a white bolero jacket with long sleeves?
I'm definitely not seeing what you're seeing - I like it! Why not try shortening the sleeves, if you think they are the problem, and maybe take up the hem to the print so it's on your knee? Go on, give it another chance! xxx
ReplyDeleteGoody, what a brilliant post! I love your 'breaking up with a nicely sewn dress' letter.
ReplyDeleteI quite like that dress on you. But if you don't feel fabulous in it, there is little point in keeping it. I'm just saying.
If it helps, please allow me to share my system with you. If I'm undecided about an article of clothing, I'll put it in my 'DIY/makeover pile'. I'll periodically go on sewing benders to fix up clothing that need alterations. Sometimes I'll just purge the pile to Goodwill.
Good luck!!
That is brilliant!! At the end of the day the relationship is yours so you do what feels right for you, BUT I would probably have a go at the sleeves. At the end of the day, a Leopard doesn't change it's spots so not sure if the frock can. Maybe the goodwill shop will counsel your frock if and when you do break up permanently and you will find another to replace it with, sinking ships and all that stuff.
ReplyDeleteI like it, but if it's not right, maybe it is time to set it free. Could pairing it with a bright cardi help?
ReplyDelete@Bibi
ReplyDeleteThe church lady look only works if I do hat, gloves, and matching handbag. Otherwise, I just look like an old lady.
Oh, and get off my lawn!
@Beth Waltz
I could try something white and cropped-good idea, thank you.
@Curtise
The more I think about it, maybe I need to just lose the top and make it a skirt.
@Thrifty Parka
I used to have an alterations pile-but I never got to most of it. I'm glad you're able to save some things though.
@Sue
I'm a little afraid it will turn out, "If you love something let it go..." and I'll end up re-buying it at another thrift store!
@Mim
Some colour might help.
@Everyone
THanks for your ideas-maybe there's hope for it yet.