We're Having the Asshole Bruce Tonight

My earliest memory of mis-hearing something came from the announcement that we'd be having the, "Asshole Bruce" tonight. I wondered why anyone would refer to a guest that way, much less invite them over. It was only upon seeing the milky stuff that I understood it was a drink rather than a person. It was quite some time after that I found out it was atholl brose, not asshole Bruce. I was reminded of that incident last evening as we prepared for our Burns Night celebration. I didn't make atholl brose (or cranachan) but I made some very nice oatcakes that went well with the cheese course.

I wish I could say that was my most embarrassing mis-heard phrase, but I wouldn't be doing this post if it were. For years, I heard a line from the Scorpions song, Like a Hurricane as, " So what is wrong with Anais Nin?" It was kind of disappointing to find out it was really, "What's so wrong with another sin?" I was less impressed with the Scorpions after that, if I'm honest.

Now that I'm old, it is worse than ever. Danny said something to me that I heard as, "I'm a baked potato." In the supermarket, I heard an announcement about a, "Sex sale" in the frozen department. Turned out it was a "sack sale" which wasn't nearly as exciting. Sometimes it takes my brain a second or two to sort out that I heard wrong, but I'm sure there must be dozens of things I never understood I'd heard wrong. Please, tell me everyone does this. Please. 

 In my mad dash through the racks at the costume shop I managed to buy three red dresses (and a robe). I know what works for me, even if it isn't my favourite colour. This dress is by Hopewell, which was a specialty brand of Jonathan Logan-for fatties. That's why it fits me. Anyhoo, it is nice to have something that isn't pulling across the bust as so many 60's and 70's clothes would seem to have been made for flat chested hippies (not that I'm judging, I just can't wear the Dollyrockers dresses and that sort of thing). Jonathan Logan made nice clothes. They weren't expensive, but they weren't dirt cheap either. I'm pleased I could add this one to my collection for a couple bucks.

Nice comfort shoes. They are. Thank goodness for Clarks.

Look at the massive old bag! Er, shoulderbag. It was reduced from $25.00 to $15.00 at New Life Thrift's boutique, so I snagged it. I go weak-kneed at the sight of a hand tooled belt or purse, and this one, given the size and good condition nearly made me faint. I don't think it is that old (70's maybe?) though I've heard young people calling 90's clothes, "Vintage" which seems like a bit of a stretch, so perhaps to some people this would be ancient. It has an adjustable strap, which is great because I can't do shoulderbags since my neck injury, and I prefer to clutch my bag tightly between gloved hands ready to swing it at young people that get too close to me. "Shoo. Go away! Damn beatniks with their funny cigarettes and long-playing records..."

 This brooch is (I'm told) a clear type of Bakelite, with a flower encased inside. It was a gift from an elderly neighbour who was amused by my interest in, "Old shmattes."  She bought it on a holiday to Mexico in the 40's, and thought I'd like to have it. She was the same woman that gave me the needlepoint purse you see me wearing. She didn't have children, and her cousin's children weren't interested in, "Old things" so looking back, I think she just wanted to be sure someone would take care of the clothes and accessories she held onto for so many years. I wore her wedding hat for my wedding as well. I'm waiting for some young neighbour to show an interest in vintage so I can hand off all my 80's oversized jackets and jumpers to a good home. Someday, someone will want them.

 Outfit Particulars:
Hopewell for Jonathan Logan dress-Fairy Tail Costumes, Omaha
Faux leopard jacket-Goodwill
Shoes-Clarks
Tights-Walgreen's
Vintage earrings-HAnd-Me-Ups
Bangles-Hand-Me-Ups and Goodwill
40's brooch-Gift
Hand Tooled Made in Mexico bag-New Life Thrift
Fragrance- Vintage forumaltion Lucien Lelong, Balalaika (It was a decant from a 1945 bottle. The top notes are gone, so no mandarin to my nose, but the rest of it is still lovely).

If you see that asshole Bruce, tell him the skirlie is gettin' cold, and we won't be waiting for him all night.