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Saturday, February 23, 2008

Twinkies

The first of the chicks and ducklings have arrived at the farm store. I wasn't expecting them this early but as we walked to the back of the store in search of a shop lamp, the chirping kind of washed over me like a big old wave of springtime and we rushed back looking for the Rhode Island Reds and White Plymouth Rocks (those are breeds).

Oh, the ducks are too cute. Too, too cute. We have too many owls about and nowhere to bring them in at night, or I'd have brought a couple home with us. Maybe in a few years when Danny is older. Anyway, he found an older gentleman willing to listen to him babble at length about the details of various tractors and other assorted farm equipment. That was nice. They sort of bonded over the capabilities of a Belarus Tractor. And yes, I did buy him a couple new ERTL toys because he needed a bulldozer. Look, if a guy needs a bulldozer, who is his mama to argue? And a spreader. And some animals. But you know how it is in those places, the kids start out wanting circular saws and fencing and you end up compromising with a bulldozer. Could be worse I guess, he could be clamouring for a pig castrator.

So anyway, we were already well away from home and decided to pick up a few groceries. Apparently, the Super Nanny is in town trying to straighten out a family with three kids (I don't follow these things, but my understanding is that she is a sort of "life-coach" for a reality programme. I don't know, Google it if you're really
curious). Of course everyone in the neighbourhood is a-flutter because a celebrity has been in town, and they trailed her through the grocer with a camera crew and
screaming kids, etc. I've been getting over a really miserable cold so it was easier than usual to feign interest because all I had to do was stand there and nod with a dumb smile plastered to my face. Usually, my face gives me away.

One thing that really caught my eye was the meat department where they had a case of beef spareribs and rib roasts all bearing a sticker proclaiming:
"User Friendly Meat."
I'm starting to think I need to carry the camera with me when I go out-I'd have loved to use that as a banner on the blog.

I'm sure compared to the Super Nanny kids, Danny seems pretty tame-probably compared to most kids. It was strange, every turn we took in the store there was someone trying to give him something. Finally, we get to the check out and a young cashier (he couldn't have been more than 16) smiles at Danny and says:

"Hey little guy, you're such a good boy, these are for you."

-And hands him a box of Conversation Hearts and a Twinkie. A Twinkie! Honest to God. A Real one, not some generic knock-off .The sort of Twinkies my old man used to eat half a box at a time washed down with a bottle of Coke, when he didn't have time to stop for lunch (he drove a truck. Apparently that career path enables people to also consume two Hershey bars, the bottle of Coke and when Twinkies are not available, plain, hard doughnuts that have been sitting in the case at the gas station since early morning. And hot dogs, but that's another story, we were talking about cream-filled sponge cake.

Sure, the candy was useless to them after Valentine's Day, and the Twinkie probably cost them almost nothing, but that was a pretty good windfall for a short trip to the grocer. Hell, even Vic The Butcher didn't hand out Twinkies when I was a kid (but I did get a handful of lollipops presented to me as a bouquet each week). Then, they took our groceries out to the car for us. Seriously. It's like 1970 is alive and well and living in Havelock.

I'm sorry to report that Danny didn't care for the Twinkie and oddly; he claimed it made his mouth itch. I thought that was absurd, so I tasted a bit and surprisingly, it didn't taste as bad as I imagined it would, but about twenty seconds later my mouth started to itch. I should probably Google that, eh?

If you're not allergic to Twinkies, head over to the Russ' Market and mind your manners-maybe you'll get candy and cake too!

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