You Got to Take Sick and Die Some of These Days

 This wasn't the post I'd planned, but I hadn't planned on Covid either. I'm going to have a few things to say that might not be your cup of tea, so feel free to click away.

After the Thanksgiving holiday in the US (end of November) people were returning to work coughing, sneezing, etc. Not a mask in sight, save for the one my spouse has been wearing religiously through the pandemic. There's only so much a mask can withstand in an office full of sick people, so of course he caught it. To make it worse, his co workers were joking/bragging about how many times they've had covid. Ha ha, hilarious. 

He's in his 60s, diabetic, and asthmatic. Fully vaccinated and boosted, but still, preexisting conditions making him vulnerable. He was given a course of antiviral medications and so far (fingers crossed) seems to be getting better. He isolated from us, but it was no use. Five days later, I tested positive. So far, Dan is the only one untouched-he's going for a PCR test tomorrow. This couldn't have come at a worse time as it is his exams week. His instructors have all said they'll work with him, which is appreciated, but we're still hoping it somehow misses him. Meanwhile, his 18th birthday on the 20th that I've been planning a party for isn't going to happen. I'll probably be able to bake him a cake but what's the point when we can't all have dinner together? God knows he won't be blowing out any candles. Yes, yes, we can do the celebration later, but I feel bad. He's given up so much trying to keep us healthy (doing remote school for his sophomore year, not being able to hang out with friends, dating-all the normal teenager stuff). He's given up so damn much and here we are like unlucky people that get shot in the final days of a war. Is it so much to ask people that are sick to wear a mask or stay home if possible? I guess it is. 

I've been so sick the past year, and now this. I'm not worried about it killing me, I'm worried about it being debilitating. I'm worried about long covid. All the inconsiderate people that insist we "must get on with living" mean only themselves. They don't give a flying fuck if the vulnerable live or die, so long as they're not inconvenienced. 

So now I too am taking antivirals, and hoping for the best. I feel like absolute shit and can't imagine how much worse it would be without the vaccines and boosters.  I'm thankful for that. Hooray for science. Because I already have dysphagia to deal with, a sore, swollen throat will be the thing I need to be careful of. If I can't drink and get dehydrated, I'm screwed. Or getting an I.V. anyway. I've had enough medical bills this year-I could do without another hospital stay. 

Ugh, I am sorry for the rant. I know we're hardly alone in getting covid, it just feels like we've given up so much trying to well, not die. I'm very angry at the moment. I'm angry at the people that think it is such a laugh to get repeat infections, to infect others, to somehow show their political opposition how bloody strong they are by refusing to do the bare fucking minimum to behave like a decent member of society. I guess if we can't kill everyone with guns, we'll do it with disease. USA! USA!

I know how lucky we are having a big enough space to isolate, jobs that can be worked from home, medical insurance (that costs a fortune, but still) all those things make it all million times easier for us than someone working a low wage job without benefits. It upsets me that people who can stay home when sick chose not to, but there's such a stigma to taking sick time. Like people who boast about how little sleep they get. It doesn't make you look tough, it makes you look stupid. Go ahead, work yourself to death, but do I have to die as well? 

I've been yelled at, spat on, shoved-all for wearing a mask that harms absolutely no one. I really thought perhaps we were going to get through this unscathed, but that was silly optimism. I really hope we come through it because the same people that didn't care if we live or die aren't going to give a rat's ass about an orphaned teenager. I'll never understand being able to do something right and then just embracing the worst. Sure, people are stupid and cruel and always have been, but something's different now. As everything around us burns, floods, falls into disrepair we can pretend invincibility. For a while anyway. 

I will be back to work through the glut of pre-covid photos when I can stare at a screen long enough to post them. Thanks for listening.

Over to you, Muddy