A Post Poem (of the very worst sort of poetry)

Is it really the end of August? I might as well post these photos from much earlier in summer. Just posting photos is boring though, so humour me as I try to be less boring.

Dressed as an Edwardian at the seaside, but I haven't got a boat

But if they keep turning back our rights

I might not get to vote

 

Last year I took a chance

And planted some potted mums

They weren't expected to survive winter

But fuck it, nothing rhymes with Global Warming

You get the idea

Asters that signal disasters (see, that's better) 

They bloomed before the storm

They also shouldn't have overwintered 

But damn it

The climate is getting warm(er)

I missed osting for Canada Day

Belated wishes to our neighbours up North

It must have been 1 July

As every year that stupid CN Tower purse comes forth

I don't know why I own this bag and it really does only get used once a year for Canada Day.

Saw this in a junk shop

Among the trash and litter

Not really sure why anyone

Needs a strawberry seat for their shitter.

Someone went to Bali

And brought home some cool fabric

The dress was donated half-complete

But I just had to have it. 

I'm glad I'm not a cowgirl

I don't like riding horses

Me and gravity don't get along

when I hit the ground with forces

(Okay look, I'm not a poet and the only other good rhyme was "divorces")

I have a boring dress

Made of the dullest tan

Not much to recommend it

Except a place to stow my hands

This blouse is nothing special

I have better in the style

I don't know why I bought it

Just adding to a pile

Earrings that are roller skates

A brooch that is a pie

I'm wearing so much makeup

Why do I look about to die?!

I'm wearing too much black

I look stricken with grief

But if you look a bit closer

It is just inspired by Georgia O'Keefe

(She did wear a lot of black)

An outfit such as this

For Olympus with the gods

But I'm stuck here in Omaha

With a bunch of regressive clods (mostly)

They call this dress a peasant

The choice of the rural bred

But here in the State of Nebraska

It is a sweatshirt reading Go Big Red (football)

 

 

(For the record-I lived in rural Nebraska for 12 years on a farm and never saw anyone wearing a peasant dress, even ironically in town. Shhhh, don't tell the Trad. Wives)

 

I like a big necklace

To adorn my ageing neck

And a pair of faux amber earrings

Complete with fossil speck

This outfit worked for summer

The shoes are very nice

I bought them at the grocery store

At the same time I bought rice

(Seriously though, Aldi sells nice shoes!)

You can't tell my my sun-kissed-tan

I have poor hemoglobin

Don't know where all the blood has gone

But I feel somewhat downtrodden

(But put on some bright clothes and fake it)

Some days I dress on whim

Not knowing what I'll find

Or remembering when I purchased

A brooch of a cat's behind

I do enjoy a spotty frock

it keeps things nice and cheerful

If I truly dressed for mood

It might be grim and fearful

If you think that I will take

The bait of the obvious rhyme with ducks

You obviously don't know Midwesterners

And think we must be schmucks

(You knew I'd do that, didn't you?) 

Look at those little waterfowl

strung along as beads

I'm not sure if they're coots or mallards

I'm not expert at breeds 

Some will call these trousers

Others call them pants

No matter what you call them

They're perfect for a dance

At last we have arrived, 

At the last outfit for this post

Thanks for putting up with me

My brain is really toast

 

I will try to answer comments

As best that I may do

But please know that I read them

And appreciate all of you

 

Some days are a bit of a struggle

Some days are more or less

But I've never known a better cure

Than a good hat and a dress

 

You think I might exaggerate

That can't really be truth

But look at this pink confection

And take it as some proof

 

When there's not much else to look forward to, there's always getting dressed.

 

See you next time.