Saturday, July 30, 2011



Papa: Here Danny, you can use the dinner plate with the doggie on it.
Danny: I hate dogs, all they do is pee on the floor.
Papa: Well bears eat people and pee on the floor, but you like them.
Danny: Well no one keeps a bear as a pet (pause) well...maybe Canadians.

I bought a loofa today called, Upper Canada. I mean, it was made in China, but the company is headquartered in Mississauga, which isn't all that Northerly, but OK-it is north of where I'm sitting.

Is this really a marketing point? Can you imagine anyone standing in the store trying to decide between the Regular old, unnamed loofa, or the exotic Upper Canada variety? I mean sure, winter is a bitch up there, and I suppose if anyone knows a thing or two about scraping flaky dead skin cells off their legs it would be Canadians-but Upper Canada? I mean, you'd have to strip off all those caribou hides to even get at your legs, and then really, you'd have to melt the water before bathing, and gosh that's a fuss when there probably isn't anyone around for miles. But it isn't from Upper Canada. It isn't from one of those Arctic islands, no this is a cheap loofa made in China, and distributed by some clever businessperson in Mississauga, but damn, it sure does make me want to scrub the hell out of my skin for that "right off the dogsled" glow.

It will probably give me a rash.

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