Wednesday, September 07, 2016

Rosemary's Budgie and other strange tales

"I'm Xerox, and I hate you. Now, listen to me rasp and squawk for the next ten hours. You're welcome."

Anyway, I took my inspiration for today's outfit from Xerox as my mood seems to be about equal to his. Must be something in the air. My hair has been thinning out and you know how cranky I get when I molt.
You know how some days you just feel anti-social, but not enough to go and punch someone in the nose or do anything criminal? Really? You don't? Well okay, you're special, but anyway, my way of dealing with anger at the world is to wear a striped skirt with striped tights and see how many people I can make dizzy and nauseated. Fine, it isn't but you probably shouldn't stare at the photo too long.

Outfit Particulars:
Skirt-Target (ages ago)
Tights-Halloween shop (because every damn day is Halloween in my world)
Ecco comfort shoes-Goodwill
Norton McNaughton top-I dunno, probably Jordan Marsh 25+ years ago (I had an employee discount)
1970's jacket (part of a dress)-Goodwill
Vintage purse-Antiques mall
Fragrance (some Taylor Swift fragrance I forgot the name of-"Bumblefucked...Thunderstruck...something like that. It smells like a scented candle (and not in a good way).
Vintage necklace-Goodwill
Vintage Brooch-Hand-Me-Ups
Earrings-Had them since university
 Don't worry, they're plastic not gemstones.

Cat or bat? I can't tell. I'd prefer cat as we already have real bats and they are keeping me up at night making terrible noise in the roof. The exterminator is coming tomorrow. I can't stand it anymore. I know they're beneficial, but geez-can't they go live outside?!
I learned something interesting about myself yesterday at my eye exam. It seems I sleep with my right eye partially open and it is causing my eye to dry out-enough to be visible to the optometrist.
"Is that a problem?" I asked. 
She handed me some eye drops, mumbled something about my cornea (or the film over it) sticking to my eyelid and told me to Google it when I get home. So I did. Yeah, go on, you know you want to see the pictures, I'll wait. 
I guess I'll be using eye drops for the rest of my life. I don't know how I've managed to get to my age without anyone mentioning I sleep with a eye open-surely someone must have noticed. I wonder, do budgies sleep with their eyes open?

We're nearly through the first week of grade six. I've never taught grade six-I'm finding it all rather exciting. Plenty of maths and science to keep things interesting. 
 My weekday wardrobe has been as varied as the weather, but I try sticking the easily launderable items as I'm also the art and home economics teacher. I've ruined enough good clothes in seven years of this teaching gig to know better.

I bought this 80's monstrosity of a dress for a dollar with the idea I'd harvest the pretty lace from the collar and trim...then, I tried it on. Once I got the 4 inch thick shoulder pads out of it, I rather liked it. Next time I wear it I might even be motivated enough to iron it. 

I'm off to bed, but I'll be keeping one eye open, so don't stay out too late. 


Vix said...

Sleep with one eye open? That's a Bring Me The Horizon song. How strange that no-one's ever noticed before.
Love the Xerox tribute outfit, the Halloween tights they have in Poundland are always way better than normal ones. The fake rock earrings are phenomenal and that pink number was too good to pass up.
There's nothing like dealing with the general public to get pissed off by people - it's so tiring smiling and being pleasant. I'm enjoying a few rest days muttering to my sewing machine and pulling up weeds away from conversations about clothing. xxx

Bibi Maizoon said...

No, no no.....That was one of my fave drag queens in SF, Ms Alaska Thunderfuck. It would make for one heck of a perfume name too though...
Well i am loving the black & blue Witchiepoo ensemble (remember her? the villianess in H.R. Pufnstuf? and all the other Sid & Marty Krofft shows?)
That pink dress is such an 80's icon, I'd have left the shoulder pads in just to show how asinine 80's fashion got.

I'm trying to get in a festive mood for the BIG EID this weekend. Singing Xmas carols still isn't putting me in the proper mood for butchering goats in the yard. Having a bit of a redneck upbringing I'm used to dead animals hanging in the yard this time of year. But they were usually dead before being strung up & not spurting blood any longer. Oh well, after this comes Dashain and the entire Hindu population of Nepal will be butchering everything from water buffalos to pigeons in their yards. Who needs Halloween with all this festive gore going on? Trick or treat!

Miss Magpie said...

I believe Metallica wrote a song about you.......

Mim said...

I really like those combined stripes. And the notion of 'Bumblefucked' really amuses me.

Re: animal things, are you allowed to disturb bats in the US? Over here bats are protected and messing with them gets you in trouble, though if they're a nuisance I believe you can get licensed handlers to relocate the bats. And my cats dream with their eyes open, which is bloody weird, they look like they're having some sort of seizure.

Goody said...

I don't know what it is unless a lifetime of dealing with annoying people has hit saturation point and I've become a cranky old lady. I do hope I snap out of it (a bit).

I have never seen Pufnstuf as we went through a television-free period. I missed out on all sorts of wonderful things. That must be the association with striped tights and witches (I never understood).
A happy Eid to you (and the goats).

@Miss Magpie
Ha-I wasn't familiar with that one.

There are certain times of year (breeding season) when you can't disturb bats and they come with a gigantic hoover-like apparatus to suck them out and relocate them. The rest of the year though, they're fair game (particularly since so many of them in our area are turning out to be rabid). We had one in the house a few years back, but we captured and released him.

I see them flying around the back garden each evening-wish they'd stay out there and eat some insects.

I suppose it is possible I'm hearing carpenter ants rather than bats-and then we *really* have a problem. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for bats.

Vronni's Style Meanderings said...

Oh, I love your striped tights and skirt together! You look fab and your Grade 6 must think you're a funky teacher.

Xerox looks like a really cool budgie but they are noisy - we had canaries and budgies when I was growing up - my dad's- they frequently drowned out the TV in the evening.

It is weird that no one has told you about your one eye open sleep mode; at least the eye dryness has been spotted before something nasty happened. The drops must be a pain.

What a bargain the pink dress was. What do you do with the discarded shoulder pads - have you got a cunning plan or did you bin them?

Good luck with the exterminator....

Have a great weekend


Pull Your Socks Up! said...

Bats in the belfry? *shudder* they've got to go. But not the vertigo-inducing stripes please, keep that combo going and I say "yes to the dress"!!! xoxoxo

Polyester Princess said...

I'm loving your Xerox inspired outfit, but that 80s dress really is something else! I bet that got you lots of stares! xxx

Beth Waltz said...

Dunno about the dress -- maybe if you pulled your hair up in a tassle of curls, wore boots with buttons and channeled Jane Austen?

Bats about the striped tights, however! That is the only handbag one could possibly carry with this ensemble.

Goody said...

When Danny was making puppets I would save shoulderpads as they make great wings-but he's moved on to other hobbies. I should check the nursery schools to see if some creative teacher wants them.

At the farm the bastards got into my closet and shredded a vintage lace dress with their claws! I've never forgiven them as a species for that.

I always get stares (mostly side-eye, but hey what can you do?)so I'm not sure I'd know if it was the dress. We have a lot of, "Church-y ladies" around here, and I suspect the dress would fit in just fine come Sunday morning.

I think I'm channeling my mother (gasp) as she liked drop-waist dresses with lots of frills. She was six feet tall though, so it kind of worked.