Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Keep the Nice Stuff For Yourself

I really hope we start getting some good, hard freezes because until we do, poor Danny will continue to struggle with his allergy-induced asthma. We're waiting for a call from the allergist as I type-nothing seems to be helping. Man, I'm looking forward to winter. There's a sentence I never thought I'd type.

The air has been steadily getting drier, and with the cooler air it felt like the perfect time to haul out some boots, tweeds, and this beautiful bag.
 I finally had an opportunity to wear this leather bag I bought last summer. There wasn't a scuff on it, and the interior was free of marks and stains. I wonder if it was used more than a few times, if at all? I'm a sucker for nice bags with leather lining and good hardware.
When was the last time you saw, Made in England" on a leather handbag? Probably the 80's when I suspect this one was made. I could sell it, but I'm not.

When I was a teenager I bought a rather fancy hat at Marshall Field's and when my mother caught wind of it she made me return it saying it was, "Too good for you." I was working, and paid for it myself, but she made such a fuss that I was not deserving of a nice hat because I wasn't pretty enough for it, that I took it back just to hear the end of it. It was a shitty thing for her to do. I later found out from an aunt that my grandmother had done something similar to her over a dress that was too expensive. I wouldn't dream of trying to get inside my mother or grandmother's minds (that's not a place I'd want to go) but it is interesting just how they decided someone's worthiness based on their looks. Graduating with honours didn't matter if you were still ugly. Not to worry though, as I have no such issues with feeling worthy of luxury items. I graduated with honours-I deserve the fucking leather bag. It does make me a bit sad thinking of the energy they spent finding ways to feel bad about themselves, and sharing it with everyone around them. To spend every day of your short life picking yourself (and everyone else) apart-for what? Maybe I'm delusional but I don't start my day by declaring myself a failure because of my looks.

What loads of crap parents pile on their children. If I actually gave a flying fuck what anyone thought, it could have been damaging. Seriously for a moment-if anyone pulls that nonsense with you, ask yourself what their motivation is before you go taking it to heart. Parents, spouses, co-workers, random internet assholes-why would any decent human being go out of their way to make someone feel bad? I've learned a few things in my many decades on this earth and I know for a fact that personal attacks are almost never about the person on the receiving end. *Steps down off soapbox*
Do I look like I care what you think? Up yours.

I intend to wear, and enjoy this beautiful bag until it falls apart. I'm a firm believer in keeping the nice stuff for yourself, whether you need it or not.

Outfit Particulars:

1970's wool skirt by Panther (every time I see the Panther label I hear, "Free Angela Davis!" in my head though I'm positive it wasn't that sort of Panther the brand had in mind).
Cotton polo neck-Goodwill
1960's tweed jacket by Country Miss-Salvation Army
Earrings-K Mart
Crown Triffari bangle-Hand-Me-Ups
1980's leather bag-Goodwill
Bee scatter pins-Hand-Me-Ups

 The bees in the garden have been getting frantic. I think they know what's coming.
The polo neck is interesting. I like the two-tone effect, though it is hard to match with a skirt being somewhere between grey and brown. The tweed was a good chpoice, but I can't think of anything else I own that would go well with it. The back is solid though, so perhaps solid brown would work OK. I like a challenge.

Keep your fingers crossed for a killing frost, please.


Sue said...

Funny how at the end of one season we are hanging out for the next one. By the end of our summer I will be begging for some cooler weather just you wait. Do hope yours comes soon so poor Danny gets a break, allergies must be such a bitch. I love watching your ever changing outfits. You are rugging up as I am un rugging!!

Mim said...

Poor Danny! I hope his allergies ease up soon, it must be awful to him.

YOU DESERVE THE BAG. Hell, most people deserve nice things. I went through a phase of promising myself nice things when I lost weight. Pete's mum passing away has changed my view on that sort of nonsense. She was always going to travel when she retired - then was too disabled to do it alone. We saved up hard to take her places, and we'd really wanted to take her on a cruise but they're soooo costly... and then it turned out she had the money all along. Sod waiting for stuff, or not being pretty enough, or thin enough, or any of that nonsense. If you've got the money and you like it, have it. I've bought so many clothes this year, I sometimes feel guilty, but I have had it with making do and wondering why other people always get to have nice things and I have to make do. I might die!

And you personally are so fabulous, you deserve only the most fabulous things.

Beth Waltz said...

Danny has my sympathy, poor lad. The giant combines are running 24/7 hereabouts and the clouds of soybean dust and corn husk mold are enough to gag a Lebanese goat. A good hard freeze is much needed!

I admire the coordinating curves of your "hurry up fall" suit. The skirt has a nicely relaxed line, the jacket hits your figger on the marks, and the top holds the separates snugly together. I, too, relish the feel (and smell!) of a real leather bag. The thinner strap on this treasure, with its elliptical (vs. boxy) shape, is exactly the right weight for a petite lady wearing a pretty fall ensemble. Hie thee to a tea shoppe and ladle on the Devonshire cream!

The rant about women assigning worth to themselves and others based on some arcane system of points for appearance...this is something we'll discuss someday over several large glasses of wine.

Bibi said...

Loving the bag & the tweed & wools & boots.
"What loads of crap parents pile on their children."
There's no BS like family BS.
My alcoholic, depressive, and somewhat narcissistic dad used to come up with some real doozies. The one I recall best was when I was a teenager & he told me, "I'd never of thought I'd have a fat, ugly pig for a daughter like you." (This was of course intended to be 'motivational' & 'for my own good.') What an asshole.
Anyhow, looking fabulous as always, dahling!'
"Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.
- Diana Vreeland
I shall be dousing myself in Michael Kors' "Very Hollywood" (delightfully reeks of champagne & gardenias & was only $39.99 for 3.4oz at TJ Maxx in Ft Lauderdale) as I meander down to the 'Tarkaari Bazaar' (Nepali for vegetable market).
Paparazzi be DAMNED!!!

ThriftyParka said...

Sorry to hear about the negativeness that was piled on you. I think that there was definitely a generation of mean mums who felt is was their duty to bash their kids.


...hope you get some asthma healing weather soon!

Connie said...

Oh poor Danny. My daughter Phoebe has terrible allergies, too. I totally get it. It's interesting because my mother placed a lot of importance on appearance, too. Like you I was a high achiever in school and activities though that didn't seem to matter much to her. And she was NEVER happy with my wardrobe choices. "Go upstairs and change" was how my sister and I were greeted every morning. I think it probably had a lot to do with their generation when women were primarily valued as wife material. Though I have to admit that even though my mother was a very nice mom in most respects, I still hold onto those things about my appearance that according to her were my "faults." Oy! It never ends...I'm sure I've somehow messed my children up big time. Oh yeah. Gorgeous purse. You deserve it and then some.

Rebecca said...

I am not much of a fan of winter because it lasts so long here but I do hope for Danny's sake that it comes soon! :) I do love that beautiful leather bag that you bought for yourself and you totally deserve it! It looks like it has never been used at all! Such great quality! I think you deserved that hat as well. Definitely keep the nice stuff for yourself!


Goody said...


We finally got a freeze last night, but I don't think it was a very hard one. I put fleeces out over the garden beds just in case.

It was an eye-opening experience going through my mother' stuff after she died too. There were boxes of good silver I never knew we had, all wrapped up since the day they were purchased in the 50's. No idea what she was waiting for, but it does seem sad she never used any of it. Isn't it strange how we feel guilty buying something we don't absolutely need, even if we can afford it?

@Beth Waltz
We might need a case of that wine.
If you don't already have an air purifier at home, I can vouch for the Honeywell ones-they work. Loud, sure but if you go out and leave them on for a couple hours it really helps with all that ag dust in the air. I'm pretty sure Danny's misery is mould spores growing on damp, fallen leaves. The allergist is starting him on regular injections in November so hopefully he'll be better prepared to face the spring allergies next year.

I'd snap photos and ask for your autograph if you showed up at our farmer's market!

@Thrifty Parka

I think that generation thought they were teaching us humility or something ;)

You too? It really must have been generational even after the world changed and mothers should have known better.

I know I've said it before-I don't know how you guys manage up there with the cold, lack of sunlight, etc. I would last all of a day in Winnipeg.

Curtise said...

Catching up, as always...
The bag is great, I do love to see a Made in England label! Oh, of course you should have good stuff - or crap stuff, if you want it - we make our own choices and it's our business, no one else's. As for your mum and grandmother's stance on appearances... Well, clearly they weren't too happy themselves, it's rare for people who are truly at peace with themselves and their lives to be unkind to others. If you're feeling good, there's just no reason to try and make anyone else feel shitty, is there? It reminds me of This Be The Verse by Phillip Larkin - "Man hands on misery to man". Sad.
Poor Danny, hope things improve for him soon. xxxx

Goody said...


I'm sure I'll make Danny miserable somehow, but it won't be over his appearance. Heaven help him when he starts dating though...