How Would I Know What Ham Tastes Like?

Sometimes being a vegetarian can be challenging. I'm making a dish tomorrow that calls for ham. Obviously, I'm not doing that, so I went to my trusty baked tofu recipe to make a substitute. The problem is, I have no idea what ham tastes like. I've been a vegetarian most of my life, and my parents were Jewish. They didn't keep kosher, and they both enjoyed bacon and shellfish, but ham was something they didn't eat. I have no idea why not, but we never saw a pork roast, chop, or sausage either. I think they just really liked bacon. Personally, the stuff makes me ill, but I do have fond childhood memories of my mother peeling back the cardboard carton in the grocer to peek inside the bacon package looking for the meatiest one. Again, not being a meat eater, I could be wrong, but wouldn't the fattier ones taste better?

Anyway, I made a marinade of oil, honey, smoked salt, and a pinch of cloves. Does that sound about right for smoked ham? I am so completely lost with this one.