Monday, January 03, 2011

But That's How My Brain Works

Were I a decent sort of person, I'd likely be ashamed of the socially inappropriate things that pop into my head. Obviously, I'm not a decent person, because I come here and share these things with you. The fact that you keep coming back to read makes you just as horrible, so let's just get to it then, shall we?

There was a really gruesome serial killer in Britain that hunted his victims with a crossbow* and then canibalised them, earning him the uninspired moniker, "The Crossbow Cannibal." I mean, really, that's not really trying at all, is it? Anyway, I noticed an article about his sentencing in court and went ahead and clicked because heavens-you don't get a good cannibalism story every day, you know.

The high point of his trial apparently was when a daughter of a victim screamed at him, "You ate my mother, you cunt!" I'm still kind of bummed he didn't retort, "Oh, was that your mum I passed in the woods?" but I guess that's expecting too much, even for a serial killer. Bonus fun fact-the fellow was doing his doctorate in...wait for it...criminology. I swear to god, you can't make this shit up.

Anyway, being the horrible, horrible person I am, the first thing that popped into my head was, "I wonder if Danny would enjoy watching The Most Dangerous Game?" Right. A normal person would be revolted, but I start thinking classic film. Anyway, I promptly forgot about it because we no longer have a local movie rental store, and I haven't gotten my act together and subscribed to service that posts DVDs.

Last weekend, I was wandering past a display of four dollar DVD's at Shop-Ko when I saw this:
And once again, my awful, awful brain did that thing it does, and I stood before the display laughing aloud. I'm thankful no one asked me what was so funny because I wouldn't know how to explain the mental image of Fay Wray screaming, "You fucking cunt!"

The movie is colourised (bah!) but the black and white original is also on the same disk. I was surprised the movie is 75 years old, but I guess it was only about 50 the last time I watched it. I know what I'm watching this weekend.

* For people that came here via a search engine for "Crossbow, Nebraska" and the police brutality video, there's a classic movie for that one as well, Medium Cool.

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