Saturday, December 27, 2014

Having a (Fart) Blast!

As you can see, we never did get that snow yesterday. I'll bet all the idiots that were out panic-shopping for bread and milk feel foolish now. We did get the cold though.
Seemed like a good day to head over to the museum to stretch our imaginations and try out the Fart Blaster. I took a black Sharpie and wrote, "Mama's Fart Blaster" on the side, just in case it got mixed-up with someone else's.

Tucked away with the other religious icons was this likeness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What's more, it matched my suit.
On a wall in the basement, they encourage visitors to leave a 6 word message, or a drawing.
Well what did you think I was going to say?
This is an echo-y spot.
UGH. I got two letters to describe the smell of those farts, P&U!
I don't think this is a fair fight.

Outfit Particulars:

1970's Hyde Place American made tweed suit. A rare find, $3.99 Thrift World
1960's handbag-Ruby Begonia;s, Lincoln, NE
Lavender cashmere top-Marshall Field's 80's
Stranded necklace-A thrift store in Massachusetts
Hat-Fibre Arts Show, Omaha
 50's Gloves-Mum's
Charm bracelet-old, but a 40 year + work in progress
Coat-Evans in Chicago, about 25 years ago
60's grape cluster pearl pin-Thrift World, I think
Fragrance-Elizabeth Taylor Gardenia (Mr. ETB's request)
Silver leather belt-Thrifted

Tomorrow, I'm going to head over to the Whole Foods and stand in the bean aisle until someone gets close enough to hear the fart blaster. Should be great fun. I've been kicked out of better places.
No kid, this is Mama's Fart Blaster. See there on the side, it even says so.


Connie said...

I have a feeling that you are famous in Omaha. Do people ask for your autograph? I would. That suit is amazing. A-ma-zing. It looks like you've had a wonderful holiday. Here's wishing you a fabulous New Year. And I promise to stay off of your lawn.

Sue said...

Of course you took the fart blaster out on the town!! You are such a good sort. I thought Danny had taken his silly string out, didn't realise it was ART!!

Curtise said...

Now, you see you could fool anyone into thinking you are a Proper Lady in your smart suit, fur coat and pearls. And then you go a shoot them with a fart blaster, and your cover is... err, blown. Loving the boots and bag too, by the way. And can I ask about your hair? New do, or have you been playing in the wig department? It looks great. Ladylike too! xxx

Goody said...

I think they say, "Here comes that strange woman....RUN!". Best New Year wishes to you as well.

WIG! I wondered if anyone would notice. They make nice accessories in the cooler weather. Speaking of which, I hope you're holding up through your storm. The papers make it look awful.

It does look like Silly String now that you mention it. I think it was bungee cords glued together.

Mim said...

That is a fantastic suit. I love a good suit; that one fills me with envy!

I look forward to hearing about the Fart Blaster's further adventures...

Propagatrix said...

One of our local museums has a space to leave Post-It messages about a different topic each week. Invariably, I put up one reading "POST-ITS SOLVE NOTHING." I then feel I have done my bit to help humanity.

Joanna said...

A fart blaster, I'd have to say you would be like Peter Piper and have all the kids running after you wanting in on your great adventure:) Heck, kids, me too!

Joanna said...

Oh also, on the post it notes. Don't tell me you didn't think for one split second about drawing the middle finger :)?

Goody said...

I should mention by way of an update that I took the fart blaster to the Friends of the Library book sale last weekend, and invited everyone I ran into to go ahead and try it. A surprising number of people I would describe as, "slightly uptight, but in the best, bookish way" took me up on the offer. The look of delight on people's faces as the horn let out a loud, "blllaaat!" was just fantastic.

I still want to go to Whole Foods and stand around in the bean department waiting for some unsuspecting person to wander by. It has a delay feature, so you can set it to go off later.