Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Best Day of a Squirrel's Life

I moved the gingerbread house out to the patio as I was cleaning, and forgot to take it to the trash. Then, I heard a loud sawing noise from outside.

Pardon the dirty windows in the photos, it has been a long winter.

"Oh hey, what's this? A little house? For me? Hey...that smells tasty."
"What thoughtful humans. I mean, I appreciate the occasional handful of raisins, but I really wasn't expecting a house. Really, that's just swell."
 "Oh my god...the house is made of food! This is the best day of my entire life!"
"I sure as hell hope there isn't a witch in there."
"OK Blondin, don't make a pig of yourself and eat it all in one sitting-remember what happened that time with the smashed pumpkin next door. That was awful, I was shitting orange for weeks." 
"Oh my god, is that lemon zest, and freshly grated nutmeg?! These people are incredible. I've had those gingerbread houses people bake from kits, and let me tell you, I can sharpen the hell out of my teeth on them, but they taste terrible. All that cheap cinnamon. This? This is fucking delicious." 
"I don't ever want this day to end. Maybe I better save some for later."
That was about 30 minutes of work, gnawing through hard gingerbread. Let that be a warning, lest you're tempted to hand-feed a squirrel-their little teeth are sharp!
"Now, to find some antacids."


Sue said...

Oh Blondin you are going to have some massive wind or a giant poo, but either way you are the luckiest wee Squirrel alive.

Beth Waltz said...

Drink lots of water, Blondin, or Auntie Sue's sooth sayings will have truth!

Propagatrix said...

I guess this makes up for the crows cleaning out his tree stash? Too damn adorable. I love Blondin news.

Curtise said...

Blondin's Very Lucky Day - I think animals stop eating when they've had enough, don't you? Unlike me... xxx

Goody said...


We didn't let him eat the entire house, but he enjoyed the roof!

I haven't noticed any odd animal droppings in the yard, and he's been running around the tree as normal, so I guess there's no harm done.

Unknown said...

Oh my goodness that is just too cute! I think he appreciated so much that you forgot to take it to the garbage! Can't believe the amount of damage he did in 30 mins! Glad you took some pictures to document the fun!


yinzerella said...

You could never do that in Baltimore. It'd be a rats' delight!

Goody said...

You know, it probably isn't a good idea here either. For a city neighbourhood, we have every sort of wildlife running around and rural rats (roof rats) are every bit as bad as their cousins. I've even seen woodchucks peering in our sliding glass windows.

I fully expect to see a mountain lion going for the bird feeder one of these days.